Can We Just Stop?

Did you ever stop to think about how much you complain? Maybe you’re one of those people who thinks you don’t complain but let’s be honest, you do. We all do. Silently or vocally…we complain. We complain about little things and we complain about big things. Maybe we complain because it’s raining which has ruined our plans for the day or because our kids aren’t listening for the hundredth time today or how frustrated we are in traffic or angry we are with a spouse or a friend. We complain about politics, religion, finances, jobs and pretty much everything under the sun! We complain to friends, to co-workers, to siblings, to friends, to our significant other, to our kids and sometimes even to strangers! I found myself in line at Target one day as I said out loud ‘what is taking so long in this returns line’ which got three other people in line complaining as well.

We should be ashamed. I know I am. And do you know why we should be ashamed? Because complaining does nothing. It’s an instant gratification that fixes nothing. For that second, it feels good, maybe it even feels validated, but in the long run, it does nothing. We can’t change people, who they are or their opinions and we definitely can’t change circumstances. We can try, but that’s about it. And eventually everything works out, doesn’t it? Yes, not always the way we want it to, but it does. And that’s part of life. That’s part of accepting there is a greater plan for us that we have no control over.

I think we need to be more grateful than we are. I say that as a society, not just an individual (but I definitely need to check myself at times). We need to embrace the gifts and blessings we have. We need to hold on to them. We need to cherish them. And this task isn’t easy. This is the hard one. Complaining is the easy one. But once we free ourselves from the negativity, I think we’ll find the little joys. The joys we had as children. The way I watch my son play with pots and pans full of excitement or how happy my daughter is when I lay in bed with her every night as we giggle doing our silly ‘bedtime routines’ or even just falling asleep next to each other. I may not have the perfect life, but I have a lot to be thankful for. My kids are healthy. Sure, they get bumps and bruises more often than I would like, but overall there are no grave issues with regards to their health. That is a HUGE blessing because it can change in the blink of an eye. Ever complain when you’re sick about how miserable you are? I know I have. But eventually you get over the sickness, right? You don’t have cancer. You had a cold. And sometimes we need that over-the-top comparison to realize what we have instead of what we don’t.

So can we just stop? Can we just stop complaining? Probably not. We have too many opinions. We have too many feelings. We have too many outlets and too many platforms to tell everyone how we feel about everything. And maybe we also have too much time. We have too much time to complain and too little time to care, to love, to accept and to enjoy.

Being a mom isn’t easy. I complain daily. I complain multiple times a day. Some days, I have complete meltdowns. I won’t deny this. But I’m trying. Oh I’m trying so dang hard. My mom told me something wonderful today as I complained about being a mom. She said to me, “You are doing a great job. If you keep trying to be the perfect mom you will just exhaust yourself. Then everyone suffers. Trust me.” She is so right! There is no perfect when it comes to parenting. And yes, we can complain about it. We can talk about all the reasons being a mom is so unbelievably difficult. Sometimes, that support is needed. Sometimes we just need to vent it out, cry it out, scream and shout it out and even complain it out. Complaining is natural as imperfect humans, but it doesn’t have to be constant. Let’s try supporting each other the best ways we can. Let’s show compassion and love, forgiveness and acceptance, kindness and goodness. We can make this negative world better, we have to.

 

 

Why I Will Always Love My First Home

home
Home. A four-letter word that can invoke so many feelings. A place of childhood memories, family traditions, laughter and love. A place of entertaining, good food, good friends and the best’s night sleep you’ll ever have. A place of security, new beginnings and new adventures. A place of comfort and peace. Home is where the heart is. While I am so excited to move into our new home, I am also having increasing feelings of nostalgia about leaving our current one. 

 This was my home of ‘firsts’. The home where my husband made me dinner when we were first dating (I remember the meal like it was yesterday: grapes, wine, white and milk chocolate chunks to start followed by grilled chicken kabobs, vegetables and salad), the home where he first said ‘I love you’ to me as we stood in the kitchen, the home we shared all of our dreams, goals, fears and innermost secrets, the home where we had our first fight (and make up), the home that we cooked together, danced together, laughed so hard we cried together in, the home snuggled on the couch night after night in, the home we welcomed our daughter into, the home where we were grew our garden (that I will desperately miss!) and fruit trees (and these too!) and the home that even though was solely my husband’s before we got married, feels just as much mine as his. 

 Leaving our current home feels like I’m leaving a piece of me with it. A piece that has experienced so many incredible memories in it. While I’ll always carry those memories in my heart, it’s hard to leave the place that created them. I will never forget cooking dinner and dancing to One Republic’s ‘Feel Again’ in the kitchen with my husband or playing peek-a-boo through the living room curtains with my daughter. I’ll never forget the moment I took that pregnancy test and running up to tell my husband ‘we’re pregnant’ or even the simple moments like doing the dishes in the kitchen and watching my husband out the window cutting the grass or working in the garden. These are just some of the reasons I will always love my first home. 

 So as we pack up of our home of ‘firsts’, I smile through a few tears feeling blessed for all God gave us here. I know future blessings and memories await us, and I welcome them with open arms.