In a Minute…

As a mom, I constantly find myself always needing one more minute. There is never enough time in the day and it’s as if this one minute will miraculously allow me to finish whatever I need to. It never does. It’s an excuse. It’s an excuse not to do something. It’s my excuse not to do something.

“Mommy, can you play with me?”
“In a minute.”

“Mommy, can I show you this?”
“In a minute.”

“Mommy, can you come see this?”
“In a minute.”

“Mommy, can you help me with this?”
“In a minute.”

“Mommy, can you look at this?”
“In a minute.”

“Mommy, can you come here?”
“In a minute.”

It comes out like word vomit. I say it without even thinking. Some days I’m just so tired of being needed and wanted every second. But then by the end of the night the guilt sets in. Did I give them all the minutes they needed? No. No, I didn’t. I put my needs above theirs. I made them feel as if what I was doing was more important than them. I needed a minute but so did they. And their minutes are only going to last so long. Their minutes of needing and wanting me will diminish. They will fade away. Only then will I want all the minutes I let pass me by. I will desperately want them back.

They are little. Their world revolves around everything they want to do. They don’t understand time. They don’t understand what goes on in the real world, they only live in theirs. They don’t understand all the things I’m juggling. But that’s not their job. Their job is to be kids. And the best thing I can do is give them my time, all of my time, even when in the moment I think I don’t have it or selfishly want to give it. So for now, when they ask me to play or look or help I will oblige. I will give them my full attention. I will make them feel as important as they deserve. I will be the mom that continues to give them all the minutes they need. Because these are the moments I’ll never get back, and that is precious time I never want to waste telling them “in a minute”.

 

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