The More Gray the Merrier….and other random thoughts.

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I have strands of gray in my hair. It happens with old age. I consider myself old these days. I haven’t been blogging lately because I’m too busy getting gray hair from all the stress!

Last Saturday we cleaned the kitchen in our new house (just our kitchen) for five hours. FIVE HOURS! Oh, if I had all the money in the world I would have just hired someone to build us a house and then another person to handle all the stress while I just shop for decor and pick paint colors! So back to last Saturday, when my gray really started to kick in…I finally sent my husband to get us some food realizing it was three o’clock in the afternoon and I hadn’t eaten all day. I luckily found two tiny bags of Skittles in my purse which I dumped into my mouth immediately. I was experiencing a Clorox bleach and sugar high all at once, it wasn’t pretty. I continued to find more things ‘wrong’ with our new home that I wasn’t too happy about, which caused for a phone call telling my husband to stop and get alcohol before he came back. Alcohol and Chipotle…my Saturday.

The days all mesh together now. I was sick, Emma was really sick, I was sick over her being sick….lots of sickness. Then there’s the new house…the cleaning, the paint that isn’t getting done so we are stuck because we can’t move in until the paint is done and we can’t get new carpet until the paint is done and dry and we can’t get the other carpets cleaned until the paint is done. It’s all about the paint being done….THAT ISN’T DONE!

I can’t remember the last time I had a good night’s sleep. I toss and turn with the lists in my head for the new home, the move from the old home to the new home, regular ‘mom’ things and trying to just function like a normal human being despite being one hundred percent sure I’m a zombie these days…or a robot who only wants to eat carbs.

Carbs are like my gray hair, the more the merrier. I love carbs. They are so bad for you and my best friend when I am stressed. I’ve eaten so many carbs lately I’m starting to look like a potato, lumps and all. Which reminds me…working out! HA! I haven’t done that since I injured my back three weeks ago which isn’t healing because I carry an 18-pound baby around (add another 25 pounds for the car seat!). I desperately need to work out, it’s the only thing that gives me energy…maybe I’ll just start drinking Red Bull…or coffee?

I just got an email to all employees at work about a large tape dispenser missing…is this Office Space? Where’s my stapler?

If I get through this week without killing someone or becoming an alcoholic I think I will be in good shape. Wish me luck!

What is This World Coming To?

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I don’t watch the news. I don’t really read it either. As a journalism major, it doesn’t even pain me to say this. I can’t stand the news. I really can’t. I’m tired of all the violence, depressing stories and celebrity crap no one really cares about (actually a lot of people do because it’s so overwhelming covered).

Sure, maybe some people will say I’m naive (or maybe even stupid) or how can I stay up-to-date on current events but here’s my reply: one, sticks and stones (hopefully you can finish the rest) and two, I stay current on what I need to. Ebola? Yes. I watched and I read. Measles? You bet.

But there are some things I draw the line with. Do I want to hear about some lunatic that killed his entire family and now wants to plead insanity? NO! Do I want to hear about another that put her child in the microwave? NO! Or one who killed two of her kids and put them in the freezer? NO! It sickens me. It really, really does. When it comes to children I can’t handle it, I really can’t. What is this world coming to? What is wrong with people?

I am not here to judge, that is not my job, but it pains me what people do. Why can’t they get the help they need before they commit these terrible crimes? Are their symptoms going completely unnoticed? Do they just snap one day? What is it? The questions rack my brain as I hear about these stories. I recently watched a video that went viral regarding two parents abusing their children (if you haven’t seen it, click here, but be warned it’s brutal). The sister of the mom actually filmed it. I cried. I hugged my baby extra tight that day. Why? These children are innocent. Why? (side note: the parents in that video aren’t being charged yet for child abuse because there isn’t enough evidence…what?!)

I wish I had answers, I wish someone did. But what I do know is this is the reason I don’t watch the news and don’t read about it either. I can’t stomach it. And when I do find myself caught on something (I intently followed the Laci Peterson story in college), I can’t stop. I keep reading, searching and wanting to know the latest updates. As a mom now, I can’t do it. I can’t follow these stories. It’s too heartbreaking.

I pray for justice, I really do, but I also pray for these people. No child deserves this…ever. But there has to be something seriously wrong with these people. I can’t fathom anyone mentally stable doing these types of horrific crimes. There has to be an internal struggle they are dealing with.

I still have hope for the world. I hope that people stop killing and find a way to deal with their issues in a healthy manner. In the end, good will triumph over evil…we just have to continue to hope and pray. So the next time you’re tired of, fed up, frustrated and angry with your kids, try to focus on how much you love them. Children are a blessing to be loved for, protected and cherished no matter what…let us continue to hope that even in the toughest times, parents always remember that.

My Plea to My Generation’s Parents (and those future parents)

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My parents did a good job raising my sister and I. I think the majority of the Baby Boomer generation parents did. They taught us that actions have real consequences and having manners wasn’t optional. It was also a time when society wasn’t so morally corrupt either. Our faith was most important and my parents sacrificed a lot for my sister and I to attend private grade school and high school. Grades were important, homework was a must and sports always came second to school work…always. Getting in trouble at school was a serious offense and one my parents did not tolerate. They treated teachers with respect which meant accepting their ability to teach, discipline and grade. They never fought with teachers. They respected their roles as educators, not questioned it. I got grounded (I didn’t say ‘we’ because my sister rarely got in trouble) and that didn’t mean being sent to my room with an iPhone/iPad/iPod or any other smart phone (heck, smart phones weren’t around then!), it meant no land line (only phones we had!), no TV and no sports (even if it was a game day!). We said please, thank you and I’m sorry. We dressed and acted appropriately. ‘Sass’ was not handled with yelling, name calling or out of control parenting, it was simply handled. My parents didn’t have a manual on how to raise us, but they did the best they could, and in my opinion, they did a damn good job. 

I don’t know what happened between now and then. Kids and teenagers these days are brats. They are spoiled brats. They have too many toys, too much technology, too much TV and too much attitude. They are not well disciplined, not well mannered and not well educated (this goes beyond just schooling). So…where are the parents? Maybe they’re too busy working which means they’re too busy to take the time to be around their children and see what is actually going on with them. Or maybe, they just don’t care. They’re too selfish. They’re still ‘partying it up’ (you know these parents) while their kids are doing God knows what (some guesses can be made here based on age). They don’t want to grow up and be responsible adults so they act like children themselves, reckless and irresponsible. Or maybe, they are just oblivious. They think their children are angels and clearly unaware of the things going on around them. They make excuses, saying things like ‘well it’s different nowadays’, ‘it’s just a phase’ or the truly blinded comment, ‘no, that’s definitely not going on’. These are the parents fighting with teachers even though it was their child who didn’t complete the homework. These are the parents who find babysitters every weekend so they can go out. These are the parents whose kids are corrupting other kids. These are the parents now.

And if what I’m saying is making you current parents mad then GOOD! You should be mad. You should be mad at yourself. Did you forget what being a parent means? That it’s your job to make the time to help with homework, be involved in what your kids are doing outside of school (hopefully sports, keeps kids out of trouble, but if not, hopefully you know what it is) and teaching them responsibility (how about a little ‘no chores, no phone’?). When they do something wrong, they should be punished. I’m not saying physical violence, but there needs to be some form of discipline so that it’s understood you don’t get to just go through life doing whatever you want, whenever you want (ACTIONS HAVE CONSEQUENCES!). And while you’re at it, some manners too. My parents made sure that I said hello and goodbye to every family member when I was at parties. That’s called ‘respect’. The same goes for accidentally bumping into someone or hurting them..you say you’re sorry. You don’t support you child’s bad behavior. You don’t justify their bad actions. And you definitely don’t encourage it (which you can be doing through your actions, which whether you think so or not, they are watching and learning from). 

Society doesn’t help either. A part of me wants to blame the people because we make up the society. We determine the framework and society just fills in the gaps. My parents didn’t have to deal with reality shows, casual sex and the exploitation of sex as well as the ‘glamor’ of the internet and smart phones. The worst shows that happened to be out there when I was young were things on MTV (which wasn’t even that bad) and 90210 (and even that show had consequences to bad actions). 

I believe that raising a child in today’s world is much harder, I really do, but it’s not impossible and it can be changed. We can change the way things are done. 

This is my plea to my generation’s parents (anyone born 1976-1986) and those future parents. Please stop. Please stop the cycle with our children. I want my kids growing up with TGIF (which growing up for me meant the TGIF shows, pizza and family game night) and Saturday morning cartoons. I want family time to mean something and the dinner table be a PHONE FREE ZONE. I want to talk not text with my kids and I want them to make good, moral decisions. I want them to have manners, respect their elders and one another. I want them to know there’s more to life then what Google can show you. I want them to be able to watch DECENT television shows that aren’t filled with teenagers having sex or getting drunk (ABC Family you have truly let me down, my kids will probably only be watching the Disney Channel which I pray never conforms to society the way ABC Family has!). I want my children to have parents that are around and setting good examples for them. 

We can give all the excuses as to why things are the way they are now, but I don’t want to hear it. I honestly don’t. I refuse to be anything but an extraordinary parent. And yes, I will be tired and maybe even some days completely burnt out and sure, I’ve only been a parent for 10 months so what do I know? Well, I know this. I know that my children will be good kids and grow up to be good, kindhearted adults because I will do whatever it takes to ensure that. I will not give up on my child or any of my children (God willing we have more) and I will not succumb to society’s shitty showcase of our world. I will teach my children the way my parents taught me. I hope if you were blessed with great parents that you will do the same, and if you were not, that you break the cycle with yours. God gave you the miracle of bringing a child/children into this world, give Him the respect by raising them to be loving, compassionate, responsible and moral individuals. Stop the cycle. It starts with you.

How NOT to Pack

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This has probably been one of the most stressful times in my life. While I am incredibly blessed and grateful that we were able to purchase a new home, I am completely overwhelmed and slightly panicked about the amount of work we have to do.

We move two weeks from today. While that seems like plenty of time it is NOT! We have half a room packed. Yep, Half. A. Room. Granted, our current home is quite small, we have done a good job of accumulating a lot of things over the past three years, especially with a new baby. So on top of working, parenting, family parties and all the other weekend commitments we have, there is packing…or should I say, not packing.

For someone as organized as myself, you would think I’d have it all done already, or at least some master spreadsheet of how it will be done. NOPE! I’ve got nothing…nada…zilch. We are planning to go room by room but there just never seems to be any time. After a long day with Emma yesterday and once she was in bed, I had to finish laundry, prep her diaper bag and food for today, shower and by then, I was completely exhausted. It’s definitely not easy to pack with a baby.

With stress flowing through every ounce of my body, I have done the complete opposite of what I should be doing (packing) and instead, I’m unpacking. For the past week I’ve been working on decor projects. My husband wants to kill me. I think his exact quote was, “You’re making f-ing centerpieces for a dining room table we don’t even have and a house we’re not even moved into.” I couldn’t stop laughing, mostly because it’s completely true. Why am I making projects you might ask? Well, despite my stress and panic, I am also super excited. I can’t wait to get into our new home and decorate. And since we already spent a lot of money on the house itself, what better way to save then DIY projects? Yes, horrible timing, I know, but they’re really fun for me and take my mind off the piles of things I need to pack! I also may have unpacked our never used quesadilla maker to make quesadillas last night for dinner. Yes, I am now sure my husband wants to kill me!

So while I continue to NOT pack, create DIY projects and open things I need to clearly leave packed until we move, I realize now is the time to get it together. Now is the time to prioritize, suck it up and just pack! It’s like a band aid, you can’t slowly pull at it, you need to just rip it off! It’s time to get packing…and I hope to find the motivation to stay in that mind set. Hey, it’s better late than never, right? 😉

The Grind

  

Since Emma’s tooth has healed (not in place but it’s no longer loose), she has discovered grinding. She did this prior to her tooth injury but it wasn’t as much. Now it’s all the time. Grind, grind, grind. It’s like nails on a chalkboard. It creeps me out! I have tried everything to get her to stop. My latest effort of saying ‘no’ and putting my finger in her mouth got his reaction (picture above). 

While it’s hard to be upset with such a cute face, especially since she doesn’t know what she’s doing, I still feel the need to try and break bad habits early on. I read about teeth grinding (the dental term is bruxism) and it’s really common with babies, especially those who are teething (hand raise over here). And not surprisingly, there’s nothing you can do. Apparently they just grow out of it! 

As a night teeth grinder myself, I also read there’s an increased chance your child will grind his/her teeth if you do (sigh). There’s also something called malocclusion (another dental term), when the teeth don’t line up just right causing grinding. I start to panic because of her freak tooth injury and worry that will happen (in her situation, the bottom tooth going over the top). Teeth are so important and even though I know these are only baby teeth (and they will fall out), the vanity in me doesn’t want her having messed up ones the first six years of her life (her one front tooth is already coming in yellow😔)!

So while I fret about appearances, I realize it could be a lot worse and I should be thankful that she is a very healthy and happy baby, instead of focusing on minor cosmetic issues. She will probably continue to grind her teeth (cringe!) and do a lot of other things I have no control over and I think that’s the beauty of children. 

They force us to let go. They slow us down. They show us that schedules and routines will not always be followed and at times chaos will rule. But they also teach us patience and bring out the best in us (because after all, don’t we want to be the best versions of ourselves for our kids?). 

Children help us realize that life is short, time flies by and living in the moment is where lasting memories are made. I’ve had a hard time adjusting to following someone else’s schedule (my daughter’s), but it’s also been the best time in my life. I helped create this little human and now I get to watch her grow! 

So while she’s back to the grind, I’ll try to be content with it and focus on doing what I’m supposed to be, being her mom.