I’m Not Ready

I’m not ready for you to grow up.

I’m not ready to let go.

I’m not ready for you to spread your wings and fly.

I’m not ready, not even close.

I still see you as my baby girl, nestled sweetly on my chest.

I still remember the firsts…your smiles and laughs and coos and shrieks.

I still feel your little chest on mine, as you’d soundly rest.

Then the first time I heard your tiny voice that took my breathe away.

And the moment that you said ‘I love you mommy,’

There is no comparison to that day.

I’m not ready for you to grow up.

I’m not ready to let go,

I know it’s time and I have to,

But I need more time so please don’t go.

I’m not sure I’ll ever be ready.

I know I’ll never let go.

So my little girl I hope one day you’ll understand,

It’s all because I love you so.


The Crosses We Bear

We all have crosses to bear. You don’t know mine and I don’t know yours, but we have them.

We have them as mothers, fathers, daughters, sons, sisters, brothers, friends and foes. 

Some may seem small and others may seem large, but no matter the size, they are all crosses we bear. They are weighted on our shoulders, struggles on our minds and burdens in our hearts. 

I’ve found myself wrestling with my own crosses more than usual lately. I’m not sure why but I’ve felt defeated in so many aspects of my life. 

Last night, I sat across the table from Jesus. He was there at my kitchen table. 

As I listened to ‘It is Well’ by Kristene DiMarco, tears streamed down my face as I heard the lyrics “Through it all, through it all, my eyes are on you…through it all, through it all, it is well…through it all, through it all, my eyes are on you…and it is well with me…”

I looked across and while I couldn’t physically see Him, He was there. He was there with His arms stretched open, telling me His eyes are on me and it is well with Him.

We all carry our own crosses, but that doesn’t mean that we have to do it alone. That doesn’t mean that God isn’t with us every step of the way. And we may falter and stumble and even fall over and over again, but He isn’t right there with us. In those overwhelming and even unbearable moments, He is there asking us to trust in Him. To trust in His plan, not our own.

In that moment, I had peace. I had a peace I’ve only ever felt with Him.

So whatever cross or crosses you are currently bearing, know that you are not alone. Know that you are never alone. He is there through it all, and it is well with Him.