If Only…

We live in a world of hurry. We want everything yesterday, five minutes is an eternity, waiting is should be outlawed and time is money. If only we could see the other side. The side where the thought of waiting leads something beautiful like the miraculous birth of a child or the moment when no amount of money could replace time with a dying loved one.

But we’re too much in a hurry. We’re too driven by our own needs for immediacy. Life can change in the blink of an eye and in those moments we question ‘why’, we are not prepared and we don’t understand yet we expect those instantaneous results in almost every other aspect of our lives…

The other day I ran into the post office to mail something. It was my day off and one of those 50-degree Michigan afternoons. I figured it wouldn’t be too busy and I could run in and out without having to lug my sleeping daughter in the car seat. I was first in line with one woman working and an elderly lady just finishing up. I figured this would be less than two minutes until the elderly woman after paying stayed to talk to the post office clerk. I almost lost my mind! There are people lined up behind me now. Do I just leave? Do I go up because she is finished? Do I tell the lady I’m in a hurry? I started tapping my foot I was so frustrated. It was only a few minutes but it felt like an eternity.

It wasn’t until I got into my car where my angel was still perfectly sleeping when it hit me. Maybe that is the only interaction this woman will have today. Maybe she enjoys her trips and talks at the post office because it’s the only time she can get out. Maybe she just wants to be heard. If only I could have been more understanding. If only I could have thought about her instead of myself.  If only…

I read this beautiful email forward my mom passed along and it bought me to tears. I hope you read it. If only we could have the love and compassion for life the way this little boy did. Can we? Can we all just stop being in such a hurry?

I don’t know. I truly don’t. We have been trained, maybe even a little brainwashed if you will, to rush and to be rushed. We have things like flash sales (buy me now before I’m gone!), instant coffee, fast food (the name alone says it all), rush delivery, and the fast lane (for driving purposes). We are bombarded with hurrying!

For most of my life I lived in a hurry. I didn’t have time or the patience. I rushed as often and as much as I could. I wish that I didn’t. Life is a learning experience and that’s one I’ve definitely changed. People felt my need to hurry. I hurt people in the process. I was constantly ‘rushing’ and never had the time.

If only I knew then what I know now. If only I could see how precious and beautiful waiting is. I waited for my husband. I waited through bad relationships and lots of broken hearts. I waited impatiently. And then, I gave it up to God and He gave me my husband. I thank God for him each day and for showing me the reason why I needed  to wait…it was for him. I waited 27 hours to meet my daughter. I waited that long to find out my baby was a she! I waited in pain and discomfort and at moments in fear, but the minute I saw her, I forgot about it all. She is everything to me and worth all of the waiting and more!

I bet any of you would wait patiently if you could see someone who is no longer here…someone who has left this life already. If you were told you have five minutes and all you have to do is wait you would. And you wouldn’t complain or huff and puff. You would be filled with joy of that moment to come. You might be overwhelmed with love and maybe even a little worry. But you would wait…wouldn’t you?

If only we could have that kind of patience with everything we do. If only we could stop being in such a hurry. Today I looked at pictures of my daughter when she was first born (pictured above) and thought to myself, ‘if only you were that little again’. If you’ve ever stayed up late and seen one of those infomercials to buy whatever it is they’re selling at the end the voiceover comes on and says “Why wait? Act now!” and then continues on with what you get for purchasing at that exact moment. So why wait? Why not?!

Life is full of unexpected and beautiful surprises. If only we could all just be in less of a hurry to experience them.

Time…What Time?!

The other day my mom was asking me if I was reading the “What To Expect the First Year” book she got me regarding what your baby is doing for the first year of their life by months (written by doctors). I said no and sounding a little shocked and in her mothering tone she replied, “Well you should, it will help you to know what’s going on.” “I know, I’ll work on that with all of my spare time,” I said sarcastically. We both laughed but the more I thought it, the more frustrated I got. What time do I really have anymore?

I’m lucky I’m able to get any time in to write this blog! How can you find any time in the day to do all the things you need (and want) to get done? When I became a mom, I lost almost all of my ‘me’ time. Sure, I tried hard to make some but any ‘me’ time I got usually ended up being going solo to get groceries or run any other errands while my husband stayed home with our daughter. It wasn’t like I was going to the spa or shopping for shoes. Yes, I can and could still do those things but it really comes down to finding the time.

Then that’s when I realized your time is really about your priorities. I base my time on things that need to be done. When I’m home with my daughter she is my number one priority. All of my time is devoted to her. Sure, I make dinner and get some laundry done (hers is first) if I can, but everything else can really wait. There’s some days home with her when I don’t get to shower until the late afternoon because there is no time, she is consuming all of it. I am okay with that because this is the job I signed up for. I decided to become a mom and take on those responsibilities. It’s like that saying how we always want more time when we don’t have it, and when we have it we don’t need it (my best example here is arriving extra early for appointments, it’s extra time I don’t need because they never take you in early anyways!).

So, what time do I really have? Do any of us really have? Well, we have the time to enjoy life, to love and be loved, to watch our children grow (despite how much we want to slow that time down), to travel, to find passion in new adventures and hobbies, to spend time with the elderly and listen about the experiences throughout their lifetime, time to fulfill our dreams and accomplish our goals, to make mistakes and learn from them, to forgive and be forgiven, time to move on, time to heal, to smile, to laugh, to drink and be merry….

Our time is precious and it’s special to each one of us…and doesn’t last forever, so use your time wisely. I may not have time to read all the baby books I would like but I have time with my daughter and for me, that is the best way to spend my time!