The Grind

  

Since Emma’s tooth has healed (not in place but it’s no longer loose), she has discovered grinding. She did this prior to her tooth injury but it wasn’t as much. Now it’s all the time. Grind, grind, grind. It’s like nails on a chalkboard. It creeps me out! I have tried everything to get her to stop. My latest effort of saying ‘no’ and putting my finger in her mouth got his reaction (picture above). 

While it’s hard to be upset with such a cute face, especially since she doesn’t know what she’s doing, I still feel the need to try and break bad habits early on. I read about teeth grinding (the dental term is bruxism) and it’s really common with babies, especially those who are teething (hand raise over here). And not surprisingly, there’s nothing you can do. Apparently they just grow out of it! 

As a night teeth grinder myself, I also read there’s an increased chance your child will grind his/her teeth if you do (sigh). There’s also something called malocclusion (another dental term), when the teeth don’t line up just right causing grinding. I start to panic because of her freak tooth injury and worry that will happen (in her situation, the bottom tooth going over the top). Teeth are so important and even though I know these are only baby teeth (and they will fall out), the vanity in me doesn’t want her having messed up ones the first six years of her life (her one front tooth is already coming in yellow😔)!

So while I fret about appearances, I realize it could be a lot worse and I should be thankful that she is a very healthy and happy baby, instead of focusing on minor cosmetic issues. She will probably continue to grind her teeth (cringe!) and do a lot of other things I have no control over and I think that’s the beauty of children. 

They force us to let go. They slow us down. They show us that schedules and routines will not always be followed and at times chaos will rule. But they also teach us patience and bring out the best in us (because after all, don’t we want to be the best versions of ourselves for our kids?). 

Children help us realize that life is short, time flies by and living in the moment is where lasting memories are made. I’ve had a hard time adjusting to following someone else’s schedule (my daughter’s), but it’s also been the best time in my life. I helped create this little human and now I get to watch her grow! 

So while she’s back to the grind, I’ll try to be content with it and focus on doing what I’m supposed to be, being her mom. 

I’m Not Cut Out For This…

It was her first accident. I wasn’t there. It was a complete accident but nonetheless, it made me think that maybe I’m not cut out for this… 

Emma has two teeth now and her bottom one had hit the edge of those plastic tables kids with all the gadgets on top that babies her age play with. While the injury was unknown of its location at the time, I was told she cried very hard. 

 She wasn’t herself on the way home. It wasn’t until I began feeding her solids I noticed her tooth had gone from upright to bent forward. I had my husband confirm it which he did. I started to sob. I couldn’t stop. I was angry then sad then angry and then sad again. While it was an accident, I couldn’t help but be upset because I wasn’t there. I wasn’t there.  

 I gave her Tylenol to ease the pain and she was back to her smiling, happy self (pictured here). She wouldn’t put anything in her mouth and it was clear why. I felt terrible. I felt helpless. I felt in the moment that maybe I’m not cut out for this… 

Maybe I’m not cut out to be a mom. 

I can’t handle the stress of knowing that these injuries will only continue! I can try my best to prevent them but I won’t be able to. I won’t be able to control it…any of it. And yes, I’m not supposed to. I’m supposed to trust that everything will work out and when it doesn’t that everything happens for reason but I have a hard time with that. She is my baby. She is my sweet little peanut. She is the joy of my life! 

I heard a beautiful homily at mass the other day. The priest (deacon who is married) talked about how you don’t really know what true love is until you have children. He said that couples who first get married are in love with the idea of love, but it isn’t until you are responsible for another human life that you realize what unconditional love and sacrifice really is.

He couldn’t have been more accurate. I love my husband but it was honestly the birth of my daughter that I really understood true love. I understood the love that Mary had for her only son Jesus. And she had to watch her son be crucified. I. Can’t. Even. Imagine. 

I can only hope I continue to grow stronger, especially when she is injured, intentionally or unintentionally. But for now, I will be a little heartbroken over her accident and how I would give anything to take away her pain. Maybe I am cut out for this after all :). 

 And it’s off to the peds dentist we go!