How to be a Partner in Your Marriage

couple
As a wife and mother, I think it’s hard to remember how to be a partner in my marriage. I get so caught up in telling my husband all the things he needs to do that I stop telling him the things I should like how much I love and appreciate him. I forget about the feelings we had when we first met, the love that grew over time and all the special moments in between. They become distant memories and at times, so does our love.

My sister, who was the maid of honor at our wedding, said something I’ll forget, “Always remember how you feel on this day and try to live each day like that”. I haven’t done that…we haven’t done that. I’m too focused on my to-do lists, my stress and my anxiety. I don’t treat him like a partner and I don’t act like one either. I become resentful towards him for all the things I do as a wife and mother instead of how grateful I am for everything that he provides our family.

It’s easy to get angry, feel frustrated and place blame. It’s harder to be understanding, loving when you want to be yelling and accepting of each others flaws. Marriage is so tough, it really is. It’s something you have to work at every single day. It’s a partnership that requires participation from both parties. Of course there are times when one person is giving more effort than the other, but that’s when you go the extra mile. That’s when you comfort instead of criticize, love instead of leave and really be a partner instead of a pessimist.

The balance of wife, motherhood and work is challenging. I am constantly finding myself in an internal battle of how to manage and at times, an external battle with those I love most. I think the best way to be a partner in your marriage is to just be there. Be present. Put down the phones, share a meal together, have a date night (even if it’s in your own home!) and communicate. The biggest fights can sometimes come from miscommunication. Men and women have different roles in marriage but the common ground begins with love. After all, isn’t that what brought you two together in the first place? You fell in love. You saw this person over time as someone you can truly spend the rest of your life with. You got engaged, you got married and along that way maybe you’ve had a few kids (and pets!). But the one thing that should never change is your love.

Be the kind of partner you want your spouse to be. And never, ever ever give up. You took the vows and you made the promises. You are a team…so partner up and enjoy the ride!

Why Every Girl Deserves a Sister…

frozen
I love my sister more than anything. I don’t think I could even put into words that amazing relationship that we have. In my eyes, she can do no wrong. I will never judge her. I am very protective of her (she is younger than me). I see all the beauty (inside and out), grace, faith and love that she possesses. I am constantly in awe of her. I admire the person that she is and sometimes wish I could be more like her. She has the ability to look for the positive in every situation (and person). She rarely complains and never gossips. She is one of the most patient people I have ever met. Her faith is so devout, inspiring and beautiful. She is charitable, honorable, trustworthy, beyond generous and my best friend in the whole world.

I truly feel blessed because I know not everyone has a ‘blood sister’. They have best friends that are their sisters. They have cousins that are their sisters. They have co-workers that are their sisters. There’s is a sisterly bond that often exists without a blood relation. Whichever your relationship is, you (hopefully) have a sister (or sisters!) because I believe that every girl deserves one.

Our sisters are our best friends. They are our confidants. They are the ones we go to for advice, to vent to, to cry to, to cry with, to laugh with, to share with, to grow with and to experience life with. They are the ones we tell our innermost secrets to and the ones we know will never judge us, no matter what. They take us as we are. They love us unconditionally…the same way we love them. We may fight, argue, disagree and at times even say hurtful things, but we forgive, we forget, we move on and we let it go.

They’ve seen us at our best and at our worst. They’ve stood by us in some of the most joyful and difficult times in our lives. No matter if we were born with a sister or met at any point in our lives, we have shared in experiences and created memories that will last forever. No distance could ever come between the relationship you have. No amount of time could pass that could alter your communication. At times, you know exactly what one another is thinking. You laugh at inside jokes only the two of your could ever understand. You never worry about being anything other than yourself when you’re together. You always ‘tell it how it is’. With sisters, you are always there for one another…always.

As I think about the future and one day, God willing, having more children I hope that Emma will have a sister. I hope that she will experience the pure love and joy of such a special bond the way that I do. If she doesn’t, I hope that she finds a friend to call her sister, one that she can rely on, trust and love like she is family. Every girl deserves a sister. ***Thank you Steph for being not only the incredible sister that you are but my very best friend.