Wow, I’m Old.

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On April 15th, I walked into the bathroom at work which was turned into a girls changing room. As I maneuvered my way around shoes and bags, I listened to four twenty-somethings discuss their ‘outfits’. “I just didn’t think these leggings were going to be so short,” said one. “Omigosh! I love your dress,” gushed another. The conversation then turned into which bar they were starting at followed by a discussion about dating. I chuckled to myself as I thought, ‘wow, I’m old.’ Here are four young, single girls getting ready to go out for the day/night while all I could think about was my sick baby, her fever and getting her to the peds office (I work at a CPA firm and being the end of tax season almost all the CPA’s leave in the afternoon to go drink…no, I’m not a CPA).

And that’s when it hit me, I’m old. I mean wow, I’m old. I can’t even remember the last time I went ‘out, out’ let alone mulled over an outfit which wasn’t followed by ‘Ugh, nothing fits me!’ or ‘Why can’t I just lose this baby weight?!’. The bar seems like a place of my past and drinking isn’t an all-night affair but a glass of wine (because frankly, hangovers now seem to last as long as a cold!). Dating would consist of the few and far between date nights my husband and I get (but luckily I have him and no longer have to worry about what I considered to be ‘the awful dating scene’).

My girlfriends discussion is our kids, why our husband drive us nuts and going out consists of the park or out to lunch for an afternoon play date. Sure, we go out without the kids, but those nights are usually couple dinners at someone’s house and because of hectic schedules probably only occur once a month.

The older I get, the more I realize the bar scene just isn’t for me. Yes, going out and having a good time is great, but the idea of being at a bar until 2AM no longer appeals to me. I’ll take going out to dinner and the movies any day of the week!

But some days I miss my freedom. I miss being able to go somewhere without it taking twenty plus minutes or planning a vacation that’s actually a vacation. I miss the ‘pre-baby skinny me’ that could wear anything and drink without a three-day hangover. But now I’m a mom and those days are over which is okay by me. I think about how blessed I am to have a child because some people will never get that chance. I look at my daughter and my heart fills up with so much love. So yes, I am getting old but I view it as older and wiser…even if at times I still act like a kid. 🙂

Why Wine and Chick Flicks Cure Everything.

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Yesterday was an abysmal day. My poor little sweet pea was unfortunately dragged to two different dentists, the second only being an actual pediatric dentist office (note to dentist receptionists: when asked if you’re a pediatric dentist and you say yes we see kids I am assume you’re answering my question, not saying ‘yes we see kids but we’re not an actual pediatric dentist office’).

The outcome wasn’t good but it wasn’t bad either. Her freak accident did result in a bent tooth, which might grow in properly and might not…it also might need to be eventually pulled and might not or it might just fall out…or might not! I’d probably be better off just pulling pedals off a flower (tooth will fall out, tooth will not) to determine the outcome at this point!

The rest of the day went as sloppy as the beginning. My daughter was miserable and there wasn’t a thing I could do to fix it which broke my heart. She fought naps, taking medicine, letting me leave her side, getting dressed, being in her car seat and wanting to be comforted while I fought for my sanity.

It was one of those days where it all went wrong and by the time she was in bed for the evening I was ready to cry and scream at the same time (I had done both throughout the day but not simultaneously). I poured myself a glass of wine and found that ’27 Dresses’ was on. I love that movie. In fact, I love all chick flicks, even the bad ones. There’s something about sappy, unrealistic love stories that just make me smile and sometimes I even find myself getting a little teary eyed at the end. I mean, who doesn’t love watching the cutest proposal by my crush Ben Affleck in ‘He’s Just Not That Into You’ or at the end of the movie when Jake Ryan sitting outside waiting for Molly Ringwald in ‘Sixteen Candles’ and then they celebrate her birthday or the ultimate chick flick movie, ‘The Notebook’. And let’s not forget the hilarious comedy chick flicks like ‘Bridesmaids’ that aren’t filled with all the lovey-dovey stuff and can instantly put you in a good mood! And this is why I believe wine and chick flicks cure everything.

So here’s my five reasons to drink wine and watch one or a marathon of (if you have the time!) chick flick movies:

1. Relationship drama. Whether your single, dating or married, relationship drama happens at all stages. Maybe ‘The Notebook’ isn’t the best choice here, but for me, it is. As ridiculous as it sounds, watching that movie makes me love my husband more, even when I’m incredibly angry with him. Whatever your situation may be, curling up with wine, ice cream and/or popcorn and a good chick flick (along with a possible good cry) can soothe any hurt, broken or angry heart. My top choice here: The Notebook (or if you want to go in the other direction: The Break Up).

2. You Had the Day from Hell. Whether it was your boss at work, the kids at home or one of those ‘you got out of bed this morning and even that went wrong’ days, there’s nothing more mind escaping than a chick flick…and definitely a few glasses of wine! My top choice here: Wedding Crashers.

3. You’re Having a Girls Night. Sure, a night out at the bar is a great way to get together, but sometimes a night in with chick flicks, good friends, lots of laughs and lots of wine can help you unwind from the stresses of everyday life. There are moments when you just need your girlfriends and nights like these are great for them. My top choice here: Pretty Woman.

4. You Really Need to Laugh. Life can get really serious and sometimes we forget how to let go and have fun. We can’t laugh situations off because we’re too stressed out. This is the time to grab that movie and enjoy a good laugh. My top choice here: Bridesmaids.

5. Just Because. Sometimes you don’t need a reason to drink and watch a chick flick, you just want to! Whether it’s to relax, decompress, chill out, all of the above or just because, enjoy what’s currently on TV or a personal favorite and your favorite glass of wine! My top choices here: How To Lose A Guy In 10 Days, Knocked Up, My Best Friend’s Wedding.

I know a day like yesterday is only one of many to come, I just wish it didn’t have to. I wish I could prevent my daughter from any pain or injury. But since I cannot, I need to have faith that all will work itself out. And every once in a while I also need to have some wine and a good chick flick!

Why ‘This is 40’ Terrified Me

The first time I saw ‘This is 40,’ I watched it by myself. My husband didn’t want to see it and when a free night alone presented itself, I took the chance. At first, I couldn’t stop laughing. However, as the movie continued I found myself becoming increasingly depressed. It was so depressing that by the end it started to terrify me.

Is this what forty looks like? Was this going to be me? My life?

I swear some of the fights in the movie were identical to ones my husband and I have had, words and all! I made my husband watch the movie. He had a similar reaction saying, “it was awful”. We eventually watched it together and while the second time around seemed a little more funny, it didn’t change the outcome. I was still utterly depressed when it ended.

Forty seems so far away except it’s not. I’m not getting any younger. Maybe I will be pregnant at forty?  Could I even handle that? Could my husband? Could our marriage?

The movie is realistic. The couple isn’t perfect. They have their own parent issues as well as issues as parents themselves, growing children each at different stages, financial issues/concerns, marriage challenges and individual almost midlife crises taking place. I think it’s the reality of the movie that’s so scary to me. It depicts real life…

So, how do you find the time for your kids, your husband and yourself? How do you keep the spark alive in your marriage? How do you deal with the challenges growing children? How do find ‘me’ time so that you don’t completely lose it?

I wish there was a magic answer to all of these questions, or a manual, but there aren’t.

Marriage and raising kids takes work. A lot of work. They are relationships you have to continue to nurture. And while a movie may shed some insight into a future life, it doesn’t mean that’s where your life is headed.

I’m happy I saw the movie. I’m happy my husband saw it. And I’m happy that we both agreed while there were some funny moments in the movie, it’s not us and won’t be us. The unknown future can be a scary reality, but trusting in your life’s plan and focusing on positivity can help keep you on track. Every relationship is different and while common grounds exist, no two ones are the same.

I don’t know if I’m looking forward to turning forty but I do know I’m not as terrified about it.