We Bought A Zoo!

Front View
Well, it’s official…WE BOUGHT A ZOO! Just kidding, but ever since that movie I envisioned myself saying the phrase when we eventually did buy a home. Ironically, I looked at the home first without my husband (something with work came up and I had to go solo) and texted him ‘We bought a zoo!’ because I fell in love with it. We went to see the house together the next day, put an offer in and we got it! This is our new home (pictured above). For the first time, my husband and I are homeowners together. I stress the together because I moved into his home when we got married and even though I added my own personal touches to it, I never really felt like I could call it mine. It feels great to be able to say that now!

While this is an exciting time for us, I also feel like it is one of the most stressful. The mortgage process alone was enough to make you go completely crazy. I felt like our bank accounts were being monitored by the FBI! “Everything needs documentation” is all I kept hearing. It went so far as having to explain check deposits from family that were Christmas gifts! On top of our own pressures at work, we are juggling parenting, packing, figuring out our finances, trying to get quotes for renovations at a home we don’t even have keys to yet, picking out furniture, paint colors, decor and all the things needed for our new home as well as the challenges of everyday life! I know these are all things people go through. This is the change that forces us to adjust. It forces you to either come together as a couple and make decisions or cause endless amounts of arguing. We have mostly come together but at times we have come apart…

Life can be stressful, especially when you throw a million other things into the mix. But what’s great about life is the adventure. Every day is a new day and you decide how you want it to go. Sure, there are things that impact your day which are out of your control, but some that are not. I have little patience when driving and get quickly irritated by other drivers but then I think about the precious life in my backseat. Is it worth her safety? Never. Is it worth me getting worked up about? Absolutely not. No one but you should determine the mood of your day. You make the decision to be angry and frustrating or patient and compassionate. It’s easy to get angry, say hurtful words and become frustrated. It’s much harder to stay calm, choose your words carefully and become more understanding. At least, it is for me…

So while my husband and I might not agree on all the decor in the house, we bought this house together and just like in marriage, there will be a lot of compromising! We are blessed to be moving into an amazing home that we’ll raise our growing family in. If there’s one thing I learned through the whole process it’s not to sweat the small stuff. In the grand scheme of things, being happy isn’t about the perfect paint color or that amazing couch from Restoration Hardware, it’s about being thankful for what you have. Life is a blessing, try not to let the stressful moments of it take away from that. And if you haven’t seen ‘We Bought A Zoo’, I suggest you watch it, super cute movie!

Why ‘This is 40’ Terrified Me

The first time I saw ‘This is 40,’ I watched it by myself. My husband didn’t want to see it and when a free night alone presented itself, I took the chance. At first, I couldn’t stop laughing. However, as the movie continued I found myself becoming increasingly depressed. It was so depressing that by the end it started to terrify me.

Is this what forty looks like? Was this going to be me? My life?

I swear some of the fights in the movie were identical to ones my husband and I have had, words and all! I made my husband watch the movie. He had a similar reaction saying, “it was awful”. We eventually watched it together and while the second time around seemed a little more funny, it didn’t change the outcome. I was still utterly depressed when it ended.

Forty seems so far away except it’s not. I’m not getting any younger. Maybe I will be pregnant at forty?  Could I even handle that? Could my husband? Could our marriage?

The movie is realistic. The couple isn’t perfect. They have their own parent issues as well as issues as parents themselves, growing children each at different stages, financial issues/concerns, marriage challenges and individual almost midlife crises taking place. I think it’s the reality of the movie that’s so scary to me. It depicts real life…

So, how do you find the time for your kids, your husband and yourself? How do you keep the spark alive in your marriage? How do you deal with the challenges growing children? How do find ‘me’ time so that you don’t completely lose it?

I wish there was a magic answer to all of these questions, or a manual, but there aren’t.

Marriage and raising kids takes work. A lot of work. They are relationships you have to continue to nurture. And while a movie may shed some insight into a future life, it doesn’t mean that’s where your life is headed.

I’m happy I saw the movie. I’m happy my husband saw it. And I’m happy that we both agreed while there were some funny moments in the movie, it’s not us and won’t be us. The unknown future can be a scary reality, but trusting in your life’s plan and focusing on positivity can help keep you on track. Every relationship is different and while common grounds exist, no two ones are the same.

I don’t know if I’m looking forward to turning forty but I do know I’m not as terrified about it.