Why You Need Your Girlfriends…

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Good girlfriends are hard to come by. Why? Because in all honesty, girls can be bitches. I mean let’s face it, at some point (or multiple!) in your life you’ve been one. Did a girlfriend steal your boyfriend in high school? I bet you were a bitch then (and she was kind of a bitch too). Or talk about you behind your back? Oh, I bet bitchy came out then (and that was pretty bitchy of her too). Maybe you have a bitchy boss who’s intimidated by you or that bitchy woman you always get on the phone at the doctors office (I’m a first time mom, OKAY?!). Was someone mean/hurtful to your child? Your bitch level probably hit the fan when that one happened.

But, it’s not just women either. There are some mitches out there too (for those unfamiliar with Kevin Hart, that would be a man-bitch, or ‘mitch’). Because we are innately flawed as humans, we have developed these behaviors/attitudes/ways of living that we justify for our actions. We feel we have the right for our ‘bitchy/mitchy’-ness. But do we?

I had some shitty girlfriends in my lifetime. A few talked behind my back when I thought they were my friends, a few went after guys I was dating and some even ended up dating them (!) and a few just wrote me off based on changing circumstances. I wasn’t a perfect friend either. I gossiped about some of my friends and said hurtful things to them too (I just felt more on the receiving end of the backstabbing then the giving). There were friendships that naturally fizzled, others that went down in flames and a very few to this day that have remained as my closest and strongest.

It’s natural for friendships to change, especially when everything else in our lives do. Now that I’m a mom, I’ve found an amazing group of girlfriends I feel so blessed to be a part of. They all went to high school together and had what I wished I did…a group of girlfriends that stayed friends and true to each other. I feel like I have been friends with them my entire life and have to say now that we are all moms, I rely on them more than ever!

The best part about aging and friendships is how you mature. You realize what’s important in life. You don’t have time for drama. Your gossiping is restricted to celebrities and reality TV shows. You complain about your husbands and sometimes your kids but never one another. You support, love and respect each others decisions. You never judge. You never fault. And sometimes when its needed, you always forgive.

The older I get, the more I realize how much I need my girlfriends. I need to vent about how marriage is hard work or ask questions about something regarding my daughter. And sometimes…just sometimes I just need to let loose! I need to go out and enjoy drinks and lots of laughs with just the girls. And when Channing Tatum happens to be involved, that’s an extra perk!

As women, whether we are close friends, co-workers or strangers on the street, I hope we find more ways to be accepting of one another, our own personal struggles and successes and really embrace the power of womanhood instead of tearing each other down. Whether you have one or one hundred girlfriends, cherish your friendships…they’re an extension of you. I’m so happy to have the girlfriends that I do! 🙂

Why Every Girl Deserves a Sister…

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I love my sister more than anything. I don’t think I could even put into words that amazing relationship that we have. In my eyes, she can do no wrong. I will never judge her. I am very protective of her (she is younger than me). I see all the beauty (inside and out), grace, faith and love that she possesses. I am constantly in awe of her. I admire the person that she is and sometimes wish I could be more like her. She has the ability to look for the positive in every situation (and person). She rarely complains and never gossips. She is one of the most patient people I have ever met. Her faith is so devout, inspiring and beautiful. She is charitable, honorable, trustworthy, beyond generous and my best friend in the whole world.

I truly feel blessed because I know not everyone has a ‘blood sister’. They have best friends that are their sisters. They have cousins that are their sisters. They have co-workers that are their sisters. There’s is a sisterly bond that often exists without a blood relation. Whichever your relationship is, you (hopefully) have a sister (or sisters!) because I believe that every girl deserves one.

Our sisters are our best friends. They are our confidants. They are the ones we go to for advice, to vent to, to cry to, to cry with, to laugh with, to share with, to grow with and to experience life with. They are the ones we tell our innermost secrets to and the ones we know will never judge us, no matter what. They take us as we are. They love us unconditionally…the same way we love them. We may fight, argue, disagree and at times even say hurtful things, but we forgive, we forget, we move on and we let it go.

They’ve seen us at our best and at our worst. They’ve stood by us in some of the most joyful and difficult times in our lives. No matter if we were born with a sister or met at any point in our lives, we have shared in experiences and created memories that will last forever. No distance could ever come between the relationship you have. No amount of time could pass that could alter your communication. At times, you know exactly what one another is thinking. You laugh at inside jokes only the two of your could ever understand. You never worry about being anything other than yourself when you’re together. You always ‘tell it how it is’. With sisters, you are always there for one another…always.

As I think about the future and one day, God willing, having more children I hope that Emma will have a sister. I hope that she will experience the pure love and joy of such a special bond the way that I do. If she doesn’t, I hope that she finds a friend to call her sister, one that she can rely on, trust and love like she is family. Every girl deserves a sister. ***Thank you Steph for being not only the incredible sister that you are but my very best friend.

Loss.

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Loss. We all go through it. There are a variety of ways in which we lose. We lose those we love whether by death, the end of a relationship or a friendship. We lose out on promotions or we lose our jobs. We lose an important game we’re playing in or watching our favorite teams play. In moments of stress and frustration, we can lose our patience and even our sanity. In moments of sadness, we can lose our strength. In moments of uncertainty, we can lose trust. And in moments of disappointment and despair, we can lose our faith.

I believe that loss is one of the hardest things we go through as individuals. I reflect upon this because as I have a daughter now my biggest fear is losing her. I realize that is not my choice, that is up to God, but I cannot imagine that kind of pain. I know others that have lost children in pregnancy, at birth, as children and even as adults. One of my best friends was diagnosed with cancer and passed away when we were 21 years old. I cannot begin to comprehend the loss his parents and family felt. The loss of child is something no parent should go through, but I believe God has a greater purpose for these very special individuals. However, that doesn’t ease the pain. While I feel that time does heal all wounds, there are still the scars that live as reminders of the hurt we once and maybe even still endure.

I think about losing my parents and I immediately start to cry. I can’t imagine when that day comes and I no longer have them to talk to, go to advice for, share in special milestones and moments with and just that constant and unconditional love our parents give us. My husband lost his father when he was 17 years old and it breaks my heart how much he misses him. I know many people that have experienced the loss of a parent and I just hope that you can continue to find the strength to know they are in the best place they can be and although they are not physically here, their presence lives on in your hearts and in many of the things you do. We not only inherit our parents genes but also many of their behaviors and mannerisms that I believe can be a source of comfort when the pains of missing them become stronger during certain times. I cannot speak personally on this, but I know when that day comes I will need my faith more than anything to get through it.

I have lost friends over the years, some by my choice and others by theirs. It hurts. It’s very hard to watch people change and see those friendships diminish. Some just fade as your lives go in different directions and you grow apart while others end bitterly. I miss some of the friendships I no longer have but I believe people come and go in our lives for a reason and those that stay are meant to. I have lost relationships but those were for the best, however, at the time it seemed like the end of the world. For anyone not married or not with the person they will spend the rest of their lives with, all I can say is that when you find the one you are meant to be with, that relationship will stick through good times and bad. And when they don’t and you so desperately wanted it to, try to remember that in the long run, you will be better off (I know I am!).

Loss scares me but I know that whatever is supposed to happen in my life will happen and I just need to accept that. It’s never easy but I believe that God doesn’t give us more than we can handle. Yes, that seems silly to say because there are times where I personally felt like my life was unbearable, but that is when I found Him and trusted the most. Even if you aren’t religious, sometimes I think things happen so that you find a relationship with God, but maybe that’s just me! I know this post isn’t on the happy side, but I hope it helps you reflect on your own losses and accept that all things happen for a reason and to keep your head up!