But Seriously…This is a Real Website?

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Apparently there is a website called Ashley Madison which states on its Facebook page, “is the world’s leading infidelity service for married people looking for something more. Launched on Valentine’s Day, February 14, 2002, over 12 million people worldwide have since joined the top social network for married dating. Have a guaranteed affair and break up the monotony in your marriage.” I was unaware of this site (guess I’m behind the times) until I read an article about it getting hacked. It prompted me to find and read numerous other articles regarding the scandal (and the site). If you’re looking for the basics to what happened, I suggest reading the article posted here by Wired.com. But I’m not here to talk about the hack, I’m here to talk about the site. There are so many problems with it I don’t even know where to begin but here goes…

“Have a guaranteed affair and break up the monotony in your marriage.” We now live in a world where everyone has the right to get married but let’s shit on that with websites like this. Let’s demoralize marriage by promoting infidelity. Yeah, let’s do that, because the world isn’t already morally corrupt enough. Way to go Noel! Who is Noel, you might ask? Oh, Noel Biderman is the douche bag a.k.a CEO & President of this website and Avid Life Media, which also owns CougarLife.com and EstablishedMen.com. According to the Avid Life Media website, “Noel is a family man who is happily married with two children. He holds a law degree from Osgoode Hall Law School and currently lives in Toronto, Ontario.” Family man? Happily married? How can you be a happily married family man if you own a website that promotes infidelity? I know what some of you critics will say, ‘well, he can be because that’s his job not his personal life.’ Wrong. I’m sorry, but oh so very wrong (in my opinion).

Cheating on a spouse is so much more than just the physical act. Its repercussions have a Domino effect on all parties involved. Trust is broken, the memory possibly forgiven but never forgotten or never forgiven and never to be forgotten. Children caught in the crossfires and used as pawns. Cheating destroys relationships. It breaks up families. Family members and friends are forced to choose sides. Lives are ruined. When you own a website that is dedicated to “breaking up the monotony in your marriage”, I do not believe you can call yourself a happily married family man. You just can’t. You created the site that you call your ‘business’. You invest time and money into this ‘business’. You have to promote this ‘business’. In order to promote your ‘business’, you have believe in it, in the product, in what it stands for, otherwise it’s a sham, is it not? When you get married you take a vow with your partner before God (I understand this may not be for everyone but for me it is), family and friends to be faithful, honest and true to one another. If you are a happily married man that means that you live by those words, unless those words to you mean something completely different and it sounds like they do. Maybe to him, happily married involves cheating. And maybe that’s why he considers himself so happy? And as a family man, what does he tell his children he does? Is he honest about his career or does he hide it the way his website hides its secrets…or at least tried to. I don’t know this man’s day-to-day, what he does, what kind of relationships he has, but from reading about his website and some of his interviews, I just don’t think you can represent yourself as a happily married family man who runs a website for cheating spouses.

Recently, Ashley Madison was hacked by a group calling themselves ‘Team Impact’. First, I’d like to say thank you to Team Impact. Whatever the reason (I’m hoping it’s moral), I thank you for your crusade to remove this filth from the Internet. And yes, I said the Internet, because that’s where this site is. Are people actually that naive to think their information is super secure? This must be the same people who think their ‘snap chats’ actually just magically disappear! Oh, and I carefully chose the word ‘crusade’ because that’s exactly what it is. It’s a crusade in our world to fight for freedom, religious beliefs and it’s also a crusade to fight for morality.

Ashley Madison’s website slogan is as follows: “Life is short. Have an affair.” Really? No, really? Did happily married man Noel approve that slogan? He probably came up with it! Life is short, yes it is. But the last time I checked you got married to spend the rest of your life with one person. You made that choice…for better or for worse. And if you can’t or don’t stand by those vows, guess what? You can get divorced! Heck, half of America is according to statistics nowadays. The divorce rate is staggering, but you have that option. The option you don’t have as a married person is to cheat. That is not part of the deal. Everyone knows this, even you Noel.

Do I feel bad about this website being hacked? Heck no, you get what you deserve. These people made a conscious choice to go out to this website and partake in all of its charades. They knew the risk. And even if they didn’t, if they really thought their secrets were safe, I am an avid believer in ‘the truth always comes out, one way or another’. However, this was a crime. Hacking data and releasing personal information is illegal. I don’t support crime. Two wrongs don’t make a right. People stand up for what they believe in every single day whether it be a simple ‘no’, a company strike or war. A lot of times these ‘crusades’ come at a cost. People get hurt. People die. Just because it’s the right thing to do doesn’t always make it right to do. So while I don’t condone the action (even though I did thank them), I understand their intentions. Am I concerned about security overall on the Internet? Yes. I don’t think any site is really secure (back in college my ATM card was hacked and people in China were withdrawing money out of my account!). If governmental websites can be hacked, anything can be.

But with regards to this site, I hope it gets shut down. I really, really do. I think it’s kind of ironic how a website that’s supposed to have secret affairs hidden is slowly being exposed for all to see. However, I still have hope for our world. I hope we can get back to a place where we live morally. We stop the hate, stop the crime, stop the bullying, the deceit and try to change… to be better, if not for ourselves but our children and future generations. I don’t want my daughter growing up in a world where ‘Anything goes!’. No thank you. And as for the monotony in my own marriage, I will gladly take it because after all, I said ‘yes’ to only one man for a reason :).