You and I….we don’t live in the same world. You work out in the real world. I work from home. You’re gone all day, interacting with adults and discussing worldly things while I’m home trying to entertain a toddler and figure out if or when I’ll have time for a shower. You day is busy, filled with meetings and continuous conversations and at times, even stressful. My job is busy, filled with play time, meals, nap time struggles and our ‘little miss independent’ exuding herself in that exact manner.
You come home and you’re exhausted (rightfully so). You have follow up emails to do or you want to go to the gym or sometimes you just want to be left alone. When you come home, I’m exhausted too (rightfully so). I want to talk and hear about your day. I want adult interaction. I also desperately want a break. I want to pee in quiet and not here ‘mommy’ for five seconds. I want to lay on the bed and take a nap! I want to go to the store alone and feel freedom for an hour. When it’s time for our daughter to go to sleep, you get to unwind while my work is only continuing. I know I chose this path of work-from-home-business-owner/mom, but it’s tough. Our worlds are different. They collide because of our daughter but at times feel like passing ships in the night and I miss the connection.
I don’t always understand your daily struggles and you don’t always understand mine. We share and we love but maybe not as much as we used to. I’m married to you, but at times I feel like we don’t even live in the same world…yet we do. It’s just about finding the balance to do so.
Things change when you kids. Things people never really talk about or maybe are too afraid to say. No one wants to admit they don’t live in the bubble they portray on Facebook. No one wants to share the hardships, the arguments, the tears. No one wants to show vulnerability or imperfections. No one wants to say their marriage at times can be tough when it is. Well I’m saying it. At times, my marriage is tough. At times, we struggle. We argue, we get upset and we even yell. I’m not proud of it, I wish it didn’t happen but we are human and far from perfect.
We have great days. We have amazing days! There isn’t anyone I would want to spend the rest of my life with. But that doesn’t mean it’s not a challenge. That doesn’t mean that it’s not work because it is. Raising children and being a wife are two of the hardest jobs I’ve ever had and they are non-stop. There are no vacations, there are no sick days or personal days with these jobs. These jobs are 24/7, give it all you got, smile when you want to cry, drink enough coffee to make you functional, do your best to keep everyone alive (completely child related) while still trying to feel and look sexy (completely martial related) jobs. When you’re a mother and a wife you’re never a quitter, you just can’t be.
I’ve been a working mom and a stay-at-home working mom. There are pros and cons to both. There are things I miss and would miss in one situation over another. But what I do know is I’m working to find the balance. I’m working on figure out running a business, being a mom and being a wife. I’m working to make sure my husband feels important, loved and supported. He does a lot for our family and that shouldn’t go unnoticed. I’m also working on not making myself crazy but being home all the time. That can be a challenge!
We don’t have to be passing ships in the night though. Maybe we can be ships traveling together that veer off at different points but always meet back up and continue on. No matter what your situation is, never stop communicating how you feel. I’m lucky my husband lets me share so much, just like he’s lucky that I do so much 🙂 ha!