Can I Be Honest?

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Can I be honest for a second? I mean, really honest. Maybe I’m the only one who feels this way or maybe I’m not. I’m sure it’s been said before but not from my mouth so now I will just be honest and say it.

Staying home is tough. And not that I never thought it wasn’t. I commend all the women that stay home to take care of their children. This is not an easy task, no way, no how. In fact, I believe being a mom is the hardest job in the world and I will go to battle with anyone on that.

I think in my mind I saw being home as a lot different than it is. I would have more free time, do more fun things, finish more projects and keep a cleaner house. EH, WRONG! I don’t have more free time, in fact, I’m wondering where all my time is going. Between raising my daughter and running a business, I barely have time to take care of myself. That’s one thing I miss about work, it forced me to actually shower and get ready. Not saying now that I don’t shower but there are some days where I say to myself, ‘did I shower today?’ or keep pajamas on the entire day because at 5pm it’s kind of like what’s the point in changing now. I don’t do more fun things because there just isn’t time! I want to, I keep telling myself I’ll take Emma here or do this but it just doesn’t end up working out. Oh, and all those projects I had for myself…yeah, I don’t know what I was thinking. I’m lucky if I get a load of laundry down without forgetting I did laundry only to find myself rewashing and rewashing. I think having a cleaner house was more of a ‘goal’ but let’s be honest, kids and clean don’t go together. They’re like water and vinegar. And granted, I only have one, but she’s a tornado when she wants to be with her toys!

So, I’ll be honest in saying I’m struggling a little. Ok, a lot. I’m struggling a lot. Some days are great, they really are. Like today for instance, when my almost two-year-old put on her own shoes on the right feet and velcroed them with no help! That’s kind of a big deal in my book. It was pretty awesome to see. But there are a lot of days where I’m wondering what am I doing with my life, did I make a mistake by staying home, am I meant to be a stay-at-home mom and then I really question…how can I do this with another baby on the way (spoiler if you didn’t already know I was pregnant!) and a business?!

Working wasn’t easy. Staying at home isn’t easy. Staying at home and working isn’t easy. There is no ‘easy’ balance to life.

So for any of you moms struggling out there, I feel you. I feel you when you don’t have time to brush your hair, forget to brush your teeth, go grocery shopping in pajamas, eat you child’s puffs in the car because you’re starving, forget about laundry you started (more than once!), can’t remember what day of the week it is (this one is pretty bad for me lol), cry just because, pour yourself a glass of wine at noon or say ‘f it all’ and take a nap when your child does because it’s just been that kind of day. I FEEL YOU. No one said this job was easy, but it’s pretty awesome to think that you made these tiny little humans you’re raising. You made them and you birthed them. 

I feel blessed because I can stay home and that is something I will never regret. Despite the days where I struggle, I’m lucky I have this time with her. All moms are awesome, never forget that, especially if you’re one! 

 

2 thoughts on “Can I Be Honest?

  1. Kathy Eichbrecht says:

    I love reading these Renee. Your awesome and I can totally relate to you. 2 kids and two self employed jobs is tough work, but I would never change it for anything. 😊

    Like

  2. Karen C says:

    I am loving your site! You write with such humor and truth (its contagious!). I am sure there are SO many moms out there who can empathize and relate to everything you’re saying. I find it to be very important to inject some humor into the mix to help keep us sane! I find that funny books, television shows, and movies are what I gravitate towards the most. I have to recommend a book that I have bought for all of my mommy friends who need a little comic relief called “Where’s My Award? How to Get Baby Barf Out of a Red Carpet & Other Tales from a Working Mom in Hollywood” needs to be added to the list! The book is written by former stand-up comedian turned celebrity publicist Margot Black (http://margotblack.com/) and it is a hilarious read for working moms who are trying to balance their career and their family. Her working mom struggle is real. Who has time for bake sales when you have a Miss Malibu event to PR? Her life is hectic and crazy and exciting and I loved reading about it. The author writes from the heart and is ridiculously funny throughout. I hope you and your readers will check it out! Thanks again!

    Like

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