The first time I saw ‘This is 40,’ I watched it by myself. My husband didn’t want to see it and when a free night alone presented itself, I took the chance. At first, I couldn’t stop laughing. However, as the movie continued I found myself becoming increasingly depressed. It was so depressing that by the end it started to terrify me.
Is this what forty looks like? Was this going to be me? My life?
I swear some of the fights in the movie were identical to ones my husband and I have had, words and all! I made my husband watch the movie. He had a similar reaction saying, “it was awful”. We eventually watched it together and while the second time around seemed a little more funny, it didn’t change the outcome. I was still utterly depressed when it ended.
Forty seems so far away except it’s not. I’m not getting any younger. Maybe I will be pregnant at forty? Could I even handle that? Could my husband? Could our marriage?
The movie is realistic. The couple isn’t perfect. They have their own parent issues as well as issues as parents themselves, growing children each at different stages, financial issues/concerns, marriage challenges and individual almost midlife crises taking place. I think it’s the reality of the movie that’s so scary to me. It depicts real life…
So, how do you find the time for your kids, your husband and yourself? How do you keep the spark alive in your marriage? How do you deal with the challenges growing children? How do find ‘me’ time so that you don’t completely lose it?
I wish there was a magic answer to all of these questions, or a manual, but there aren’t.
Marriage and raising kids takes work. A lot of work. They are relationships you have to continue to nurture. And while a movie may shed some insight into a future life, it doesn’t mean that’s where your life is headed.
I’m happy I saw the movie. I’m happy my husband saw it. And I’m happy that we both agreed while there were some funny moments in the movie, it’s not us and won’t be us. The unknown future can be a scary reality, but trusting in your life’s plan and focusing on positivity can help keep you on track. Every relationship is different and while common grounds exist, no two ones are the same.
I don’t know if I’m looking forward to turning forty but I do know I’m not as terrified about it.