I’m going to be a mom. Crazy. Sometimes my husband or my own mom will say ‘how’s little mama’ doing and I almost forget they’re talking to me. It’s such a blessing. I really feel so blessed that I am pregnant. Don’t get me wrong, I thought I would be the first person to completely panic that I was pregnant (and at times, I do), but I think I am ready. Actually, I know I am ready.
I look back now and think wow, what a change a human being growing inside of you can make. When I hear babies crying at church or anywhere, I can’t help but sympathize with the parents thinking about how difficult it must be for them and their poor child who is in some sort of distress. I now look at little girls and boys adoringly as I rub my own belly and wonder what gender our little peanut will be!
There’s something that takes over you when you become pregnant. You automatically become a ‘mom’. You have this special bond with your child and already feel super protective of him or her. You talk to your baby and sometimes you might even find yourself just smiling thinking about the joy of pregnancy (without all the gross stuff!).
I’ll be honest, my first trimester was TOUGH. I was exhausted to the point of taking naps on my lunch breaks at work, going to bed almost every night between 8-8:30PM, having my body reject all foods and wondering when I would stop looking like a fat blob and start looking like a pregnant woman! And don’t even get me started on the reading and research. It’s enough to drive any woman crazy! Is this car seat safe? Is this stroller? Is anything?!
But, it’s really all been worth it. I am in my second trimester and anxiously awaiting this child’s arrival in June. Life as (my husband and) I know it will never be the same. People say it to us all the time….’get as much sleep as you can now’, ‘go out to the movies and dinner often’, ‘get away if you can’….and at first I thought, wow, it’s not like we’re preparing for Armageddon here, but really, having a child does change the single lifestyle you’re used to leading as a couple. It will never again just be my husband and I…and I’m really okay with that.
Yes, I had my moments of selfishness and wanting to just travel and live the two of us but deep down, I always wanted kids. I just didn’t know when God would give them to us…and now He has. So, the journey has begun and we are halfway there. I have to say this is one race I can’t wait to get to the end of!